Venus/Pluto square

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I’ve read all sorts of nonsenses about Venus in a bad aspect to Pluto (mostly squares and oppositions, although conjunctions can be tricky too) but the most ludacris one that actually inspired me to write down this post (yes, I am “the proud owner of THE square” too) is the theory about “love curse”.

Well, is it? Somehow it puts you on the display (of course, everything dependes on the rest of the chart, but some things are likely to manifest in every chart with that aspect) of fatal love. Why fatal? Sometimes it seems it drops out of nowhere and suddenly awakes your worst parts: jealousy, possesivness, unrequited love, triangles, dispair…most of those affairs feel very fated and unavoidable. You may get the feeling you’re stucked, you may even feel like you forgot all the spiritual lessions, it’s like being pulled back to the beginning. You know you shouldn’t go for it, you know it’s draining both you and the other person, it’s bad, it’s a rock bottom but somehow you just can’t help it. You’re drawn to that person like a moth to the flame. And I’m not talking about one or two stories. I’m talking about dozens of them. Yes, dozens. Throughout various stages of life.

The most important thing is to try to be non-judgmental to yourself (all that sudden jelaousy and possesivness over your partner might make you desperate and asking yourself over and over again “What on Earth have I become? This is not who I am…”) Like an invisible cord you’re pulled over and over again. How to deal with it?

Well, I have no idea :) I just have some clues that can be useful…except that whole non-judgmental idea, I think you should make peace with the fact that some deeply rooted problems in your pysche will be revealed and you’ll have a chance to learn, grow and “clean that subconciouss mess”.

Let me be more concrete on this topic…

I

-karma. Piles of love karma :) issues that need to be resolved are mostly based around jelaousy and possesivness

-when you get really jelaous you actually believe in that nasty “program” that tells you no one can really love you and your relationships with partners are doomed to failure. Work on it. Ask yourself: “How did I ‘install’ that in my mind? How can I change it?”

-where is this coming from? That basic untrust?What it the root cause of it? Check your moon placement and its aspects to get a clearer picture. Also, check your South Node. Any planet conjuncting it might be helpful (I have Pluto conjunct my South node. I am aware of the lossess and grievs I had to be put through and will ’till the rest of my life)

-power plays. That’s huge with Venus square Pluto. Somehow you always end up in fighting. But let go that “I loved you so, now I hate you so” crap. Some astrologers claim this aspect can bring pyschical violence, but I think it’s extreme and not apliable to all charts.Again, the Moon will tell you the more concrete story. But try not to be bitter and hateful towards others. This might sound wierd, but some mild version of SM sex might help in a relationship.If you have two passionate partners and a lot of Venus/Pluto stories (both in individual charts and synastry and composite and Davison) sex that includes power plays and roleplaying might help to let out the steam. If you’re into that kind of stuff, of course.

-unreqited love. Triangles. Not being able to let go in a looong time (by looong time I don’t mean a year or two, I’m talking about years, sometimes even decades)

II

MY own private hell or Venus/Pluto love story

(The Guy had his natal Venus in trine with Pluto and in opposition to Moon. My natal Venus is squaring the Pluto. In our synastry chart we had his Venus squaring my Pluto. Yes, I was “the mad” Pluto person. Read the story, it has a stunning ending)

I met The Guy in a poetry festival I organized. He came from other state to be our guest since he published the poetry antology book we were promoting. He was 18 years older then me, married with two children. He owns a small, underground publishing house. When we met, there were no sparkles, no “fatal” feelings, nothing. He just mentioned he was reading my blog and poetry and that he wants to publish my book. I was very happy. Time moved on, he published the book and we saw each other on various book promotions etc. Nothing ever happened. I actually saw him as a father figure. Not someone very close, but nice, deep and someone I could talk on and on and on.

Three years later he got divorced. Nothing happened untill this summer when he came to my city for the Pogues’ concert.¬† We ended up together and I was overwhelmed and in denial. I started to feel something but it changed me completley. I always thought of him as “my publisher” with whom I discuss poetry, drink beers and babble on and on. Not someone I could intimetly be involved with. He got back home (in another state), we wrote each other messages on regular bases and one thing led to another and I found myself in a long-distance relationship with my 18 years older, divorced publisher. Every single thing inside me said “Stop doing it. You’re gonna get yourself hurt” but of course, it was fated. Could I reacte differently? Yes. Was I able to avoid it? Yes. Did I ended up torned and wounded? I did. And you know, somehow, it’s worth it. I really learned a lot about myself.

Couple weeks after the first “bliss” and beautiful moments, my jelaousy came in. I was extremley jelaous of his female friend whom he knew for 20 years. To cut the long story short, I left him four times because I had a serious doubt he’s in love with her, not with me, and that I will end up hurted again. I would come back every once in a while to him, he would make me believe everything was okay and that I was just paranoid, insecure, possesive girl (yes, those were the exact words he said)…okay, I may be all that, but I just felt her as a huge threath to our relationship. Plus, they were living in the same city, while I was able to see my love only once a month, the rest of the time we would be texting and that was it.

The last time I saw him I left him for good. I told him I can’t put up with him and her, I even met her and then I realized she was the love of his life.He never cheated but I felt it all over the place.

Couple days later we started to email again and the Guy asked me to move in with him and forget all that crap. He even said: “I’ll forgive you your hysterical jelaousy mania”. Yes, those were his words. I was kind of ready to match things up because….I don’t know…I really felt that he loves me although I could feel the constant emotional threath from his female friend. I was in love. I was naive. I didn’t know better. And yes, the sad truth is he convinced me to believe I was paranoid and insecure and I shut off my intuition and inner alarms and believed that I was just the worst version of me. Blame, manipulation, fights, power,¬† passion, those were the basics of our relationship.

So after a week or so of “patching” things up and making plans for the next month when I was supposed to move in his place (yes, leave my house, my country, my life and just walk away and start a new life with him. I was ready to do that) he stopped writing, calling, everything. I’ve send him couple e-mails but nothing happened.

And then…BOOM!My own worst fear…another¬† friend who also knew the Guy told me he ended up with that friend I left him for four times….he told me they’re in a relationship and happy and blah blah. I was devasted but not surprised. I’ve send him one last e-mail and closed that chapter hurted. He answered couple weeks later claiming he’s sorry for hurting me so bad (?) and that he didn’t want me to find that out from the third person.

He deleted his Facebook accounts, he moved in at her place 15 days after we broke up, he disappeared and we have no contact at all. I’m grateful for that. I don’t want to see him, hear him, ever again. I’ve lost my publisher, my friend, my lover and four months later he’s still in a relationship with her, probably happy.

I’m single (I tried to have a new relationship, but as mentioned before, we, the Venus/Pluto square people have a really HARD TIME LETTING GO PEOPLE).

But it’s okay. I’ve learned so much and thank God (ess) there’s astrology, poetry and life as it is to find my relief.

Did I let him go? Not yet. But soon.

Am I angry? A little bit.

Do I hate him?

No, that’s the worst part. I still love him. Although I don’t want to see him or contact him ever again, I still love him. I can’t just switch from love to hate, no matter what. And I can’t let go.

So, guys, if you have a similar story related to Venus Pluto square, I would love to hear it.

This has been very cathartic for a first post!Wow…and there are many more to go…

Namaste!

 

3 responses »

  1. i have a venus/pluto relationship …. or had , because he was engaged, and i told him to take a decision: me or her. after that, he never called me back. there are 3 months from then. i’m sure it was true love . my venus squares his pluto.

  2. dear black widow!

    I’m sorry for your venus/pluto relationship because I know how much pain and suffering those nasty love triangles can bring. But on the other hand: they’re like super stuff (super stuff? seriously? all that pain? YES) for your own personal spiritual evolution. True love or not, he didn’t call back, so the best thing you can do is let it go. I know…letting go with Venus-PLuto square in synastry can be almost impossible but…think like this: there are so many wonderful things waiting for you, and so many wonderful people full of love and light, so maybe, just maybe think about letting go and moving on. He didn’t call back. It’s been 3 months. It’s his loss. You…just move on and I bet you will find someone amazing and avaliable and free in no time. I know how hard it is…it took me almost 2 years to let this story I wrote a post about…but you know what? I did it. Once I realized this painful truth: he’s happy and in serious relationship, I’m alone and holding all this grudge and pain inside myself and PROBABLY MISSING wonderful stories with new people because I’m too stuck on him. So I moved on. Still single, but I have had some wonderfull adventures and my heart is finally open. After almost two years!

    GOOD LUCK! Namaste!

  3. Reading your post, I couldn’t help but think about my Venus square Pluto (in Leo 7th house and in Scorpio 9th house respectively). At the very young age of 13, I got into my very first relationship with my classmate for “survival” reasons (I was heavily bullied at school due to my straight As). As I share the Venus-Pluto synastry with most people of my generation, I only take into account the tight orbs (so it was the case). I was into drugs and alcohol at the time (our synastry and composite had quite the Neptunian influence, too!) and he reinforced that habit. For the sake of love (Venus), I had given up my power (Pluto). After 4 years of breaking and making up, I told him to finally leave since I found out he defamed me to our mutual friends and gossipped about my ‘assets’.

    I finally got my life back together and met my Venus conjunct Pluto in Scorpio fiance, who has taught me this: love is not about giving up your power. Love IS power. I am still learning.

    As for letting go… I am healing from the wounds of my first relationship, since I really felt unworthy of love. However, my first boyfriend got killed in a car crash last year and I realized I couldn’t live in the past anymore. I was grateful for not being in a relationship with him. The only thing I felt is sadness because he died before he realized his mistakes and changed his ways (he was heavily drugged when he died).

    So, no, Venus-Pluto ain’t a ‘love curse’ in any way. That’s too ‘fatalistic’ in my opinion. I think the key is to approach relationships from a place of love not from a place of fear. In that case, it is not bad that you still love the guy; it’s good to transform that love into wishing happiness for him, even if he is not with you anymore, and be grateful that you had the chance to learn lessons via your relationship. Hating him will just cause more and more obsession, which is a very easy thing to happen under Venus-Pluto. Venus-Pluto will make the effects of obsession even more intense, if left unchecked.

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